‘We need to communicate better’ – any of you who have sat through a team building session will recognise this statement. But how?
To put it into context I’ve been reflecting on the communication quirks of a couple of people I know. One of them introduces a new topic by saying ‘Don’t forget……’. This always annoys me because how can I forget, when I haven’t been told about it yet. The other person always says ‘I don’t know if you want to……….’ rather that ‘Would you like to……’. Again I’m frustrated – the reason they don’t know is because they haven’t asked me yet.
My automatic reaction to both of these verbal ticks has been for me to try to get them to change, but that’s failed because it not their problem, it’s mine. So now my goal is to accept their ways, to adapt to their styles, because what’s really important is what happens at the end of our chats, not they way the chats are phrased.
When we are navigating our lives – job search, careers, personal relationships – adapting to those around us is really important. At least until you’re the boss – then everyone else will have to adapt to you.